Stupid thought of the day
August 21st, 2009
Archive
Archive for the ‘Comics’ Category
Battle of the Boys
May 28th, 2009
From the May 1998 issue of Disney Adventures, here are profiles on the four hottest up-and-coming Boy Bands in the world:
This is the only band on this list that I can remember actually existing. Apparently these guys are still active as the Backstreet Boys, minus the guy in the middle with the creepy stare. He was last seen in a movie with Haylie Duff, called Love Takes Wing, which is the 6th sequel to a Hallmark original, and was directed by Lou Diamond Phillips. That’s pretty much a career black hole.
These guys have been on “hiatus” since 2002, meaning that we’re going to be hearing from these guys again as soon as their solo careers hit the pavement. Since then, one of them has gone on to marry Jessica Simpson (who, together, went on to make the most annoying program in television history), and two others have performed at Ralph Nader rallies (actual quote: “he is my hero!”) Yeah, a reunion tour can’t be far off.
Who the fuck are these guys? “Watch and see if they take America by storm.” Yeah, no. I’m guessing promo pics like the one above didn’t help their cause any. Amazingly enough, these guys are still active in the UK, and with all original members.
Alright, I’m pretty sure they’re just making up bands now. I don’t remember ever hearing about them, and even Disney Adventures only awarded them 2/5 stars. If you can’t even impress a magazine that exists solely to promote overly-commercial claptrap to children, you have a major problem. Since breaking up in 2001, one member has gone on to do video game voice work, and the other three have dropped completely off the face of the Earth.
Bonus extra-creepy tidbit: they were signed by Michael Jackson. That explains a lot.
25 Things You (Probably) Didn’t Know About Michael Jackson
May 27th, 2009
Aka “25 Things I Wish I Didn’t Know About Michael Jackson”
From the June 1993 issue of Disney Adventures, which came out right before some certain non-Disney-friendly accusations pretty well destroyed his career. This was also on the downward slope of his transition from dangerous/sexy to dangerous/creepy.
With that said, let’s have a look at what he named his monkey:
And now you know that Michael Jackson is ticklish, has the nickname “smelly”, owns two llamas, and has a life-sized replica of Snow White.
You’re welcome.
‘N Sync’s Wild Adventure!
May 24th, 2009
More adventures of ‘N Sync, from the June 1999 issue of Disney Adventures. Once again, this is 100% real, I didn’t make this up. In this issue, ‘N Sync fights the evil forces of mind-controlling polka with the help of break dancing and Lance Bass’ gadgets.
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The guys finish off thier adventure by singing almost the exact same song they sang last issue. A subtle dig at the band, or just terrible writing? I’m going with the former.
Previous: ‘N Sync-able!
‘N Sync-able!
May 24th, 2009
Courtesy of the Winter 1999 issue of Disney Adventures, here’s a comic based on the adventures of ‘N Sync. I swear to God that this is real, I’m not making this up. I love the comic personalities they gave to these guys; Lance Bass is apparently MacGyver, and Justin Timberlake bears a striking resemblance to Eminem.
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